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How to Help Kids Deal with Your Divorce

Going through a divorce is a very emotional experience, and it’s bound to affect your in all aspects. But if there are people who will take the brunt of divorce outside the spouses involved, it would be their kids. If you feel sadness, anger, and worry over the ending of your marriage, your kids feel it too.  Kids do have the right to know about this decision, and they need every support they can get as you course through this turbulent time as well.

Break the News Gently and Accordingly

The news of the divorce is never going to be a welcome one for your kids. Once you and your partner have overcome the initial emotions, you must get together to plan on how you should break the news to your children. Ideally, both of you should be there to do it, and the manner of telling it should match the kids’ age and level of maturity. Do not play the blame game and assure them of a normal life, despite the divorce.

Give Your Kids’ Lives a Semblance of Normalcy

Now that you’ve decided to live apart, you must expect that the separation will affect the kids to a certain extent. They may feel depressed, anger and resentment over the decision which can cause them withdraw from the things they used to love. Don’t let the kids’ lives and routine be affected by it, or at least try to minimize the effects. Drive them to school, take them to swimming lessons and go on Sunday lunches like before. Don’t disrupt their schedules and be present in their lives for as often as you can.

Be Truthful to Your Kids

If you deem the kids already have enough understanding of what you’re going through, you must try to explain as honestly as you can. You can tell them that some couples love each other at first and that love changes over time and sometimes, it’s best for everyone to live separate lives. Younger kids need simpler explanations, like “mommy and daddy have to live separately, but that doesn’t mean we’ll stop being parents to you.” At this point, the kids need of your love and support assurance which you need to speak and show.

Allow Kids to Speak and Help Them Process their Emotions

You’re probably getting the help of a Houston divorce attorney to sort out the legal matters, and friends and family are helping you out with your personal needs. Kids don’t have that kind of support right now. Let the kids know that it’s okay to ask questions and you’ll answer them to the best that you can. Let the kids feel upset or resentment, and then help them deal with it. Ask what would make them feel better and tell them that whatever they’re feeling right now, you understand and you’re just there for them.


A divorce is just as turbulent an experience to you as it is to your kids. But because young children can’t understand the complexities of a relationship just yet, you and your partner must make sure that kids felt secure and loved despite the circumstances.